...so i touched it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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