1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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