i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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