I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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