so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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