He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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