"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
