Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
