I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
