You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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