Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
