I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
