I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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