so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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