This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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