Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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