You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
