She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
