Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
