is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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