does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
