I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
