i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There's even glitter on my cock...
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