Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
