"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
