I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
