Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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