what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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