your thong is hanging out like whoa
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
