I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
