Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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