Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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