On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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