At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize