My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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