we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
