Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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