Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is wine microwaveable?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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