Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
