Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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