maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
