i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
