go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
