its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
