I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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