Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
