i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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