Porn is love you can see.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you inspire me to be a worse person
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
