Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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