Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
